The ideal marriage for Paul is two people who get married and stay that way until “Death do they part.” Paul views marriage the way most Jews in the first century would. Based on Genesis 2:18-24 or Ecclesiastes 9:9-10, people who marry should enjoy life with their spouse. This is what Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount, although there is provision in the Law for divorce in the case of unfaithfulness. But what happens if a believer is married to an unbeliever? Can the believer divorce the unbeliever, so they are not “unequally yoked”?
As I have stated before, this passage is not a comprehensive theology of divorce and there are many situations in a modern marriage may end in divorce not anticipated in the teaching of Jesus or Paul. If a woman is being abused by her husband, she should get out of the relationship as soon as possible, protect herself and her children. There are more ways for a spouse to break their marriage vows than simply adultery.
What is remarkable is that Paul extends the command to both the husband and the wife. The divorce law from Deuteronomy 24 only allows a husband to divorce, Paul suggests a woman could divorce a husband. In addition, the grounds for the divorce in 1 Corinthians 7 is expanded to include abandonment. If an unbelieving spouse abandons a believer, the believer can “let them go.” So Paul is opening up the possibility for a divorce beyond marital unfaithfulness.
Roman law allowed people to divorce for any reason. Divorce was permitted for infertility or infidelity, but more common among wealthy. “The Romans had one of the most liberal regimes of divorce in human history; legally, divorce could be obtained unilaterally, without cause, by either party, without cumbersome procedural obstacles; the strict separation of spousal property, and the prohibition of gifts between the husband and the wife, abetted easy separation” (Kyle Harper, From Shame to Sin, 163).
For most people, there was no official marriage with a marriage contract. Since there was no legal contract binding the two, a couple could split and simply start living somewhere else. The situation was more complicated for slaves since a master could transfer one partner to another part of his estate or even sell the partner. This makes direct application to modern (wester, American) marriage and divorce questions difficult because a marriage is as much a legal partnership as a romantic one.
What about people married to unbelievers (7:12-16). In this section, Paul deals with what was likely a common problem for the first generation of Christians. Some women may have converted to Christianity, but their husbands do not. In the Roman world, a wife would convert to her husband’s gods when she married. This would not be a problem in most cases since she would adopt the family gods of her new family.
“A wife’s conversion to Christianity undoubtedly would have created strife, if only as a slap at her husband’s authority over her…. a wife’s refusal to accept Christianity after her husband’s conversion also would have made things quite awkward since the Christian faith was highly intolerant of other religious beliefs and practices” (Garland, 1 Corinthians, 284).
The reason wives are addresses is a husband who converted to Christianity would simply force the whole family to “convert” to the new faith. A pagan wife might simply see worship of this “new God” as her natural duty, whether she really believed or not.
It is likely some in the Corinthian church were using their new relationship with Christ as a “ground for divorce.” After all, Paul has taught the church they need to separate from the world and to not be with immoral people. If a Christian woman took that seriously, she might have sought to divorce her idolatrous husband, who was most likely participating in all the immoral things most Roman men would.
I will treat verse 14 in another post, but for now it is important to hear what Paul has said (and what he has not said). Paul does not declare all divorce sinful and anyone who divorces their spouse is damned to hell. He recognizes that marriages do end for good (and bad) reasons. People who find themselves in a marriage that breaks up need the support of their family, in the context, their brothers and sisters in Christ.
I don’t see a problem with a believer marrying nonbeliever because the nonbeliever could become a believer, so we shouldn’t discount them from a Christian marrying them.
As Christians, our responsibility is to Evangelize and bring others to God. Though finding a partner with the same faith is probably easier to work with, we cannot turn heads upon people that may just be lost. Personally, if I was in a relationship I would take a leadership role to give ourselves to God as a whole, not as two people. Entering a relationship with a nonbeliever is not cause for divorce, only if ones health is put at risk (Mentally or Physically).
I picked this blog because this is something I have been thinking a lot about. I’m still pretty new to the faith, so I always have sort of fought with myself on that. I had a small interest in a guy whom I’m pretty sure was a non-believer more recently, and it has become important to me that whoever I decide to date has to be a Christian. I had always questioned myself if I was ready to take that risk, or throw that idea out the window. I guess my thinking was that maybe if I pursued anything with that person, they would become Christiiian? But that is all in God’s will. They should be the one who wants to convert because of God, and not because of me.
I thought this was interesting because the blog discusses that if a woman converted to a christian while already married, then the husband is more likely to convert, along with the rest of the family. However, if the husband or wife doesn’t convert, I can see how this can create problems within the family, but I don’t think it would be enough to bring divorce. As someone who is a person with divorced parents, I can say that they didn’t divorce because of their different beliefs. Maybe it was, but it was the verbal abuse that my mom suffered when my dad became an alcoholic. And from some of the things I heard before their marriage, things were already bumpy. I think religion still plays a big part in marriages, just like it did during Paul’s time. Even today, iit’s bold to get married and have kids.
Can Christians marry an unbeliever? Should we date to evangelize? Should we marry to evangelize? Well… again another gray area in our culture today, that really can only be answered in the terms of Greco-Roman Culture. “…there are many situations in a modern marriage may end in divorce not anticipated in the teaching of Jesus or Paul.” (Married to an Unbeliever? 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, Readingacts.com). Paul and Jesus both teach that marriage is between one man and one woman. However, Roman Law (and culture for that matter) allowed divorce for pretty much any reason. Can’t have kids? Divorce. Want to sleep with a prostitute or slave? Divorce. Don’t like one another anymore? Divorce. That’s the culture that Paul is trying to get the Corinthian’s to realize is wrong. However, there are good reasons to divorce your spouse, and I believe Paul touches on those a bit later. The big thing that we have to keep in mind is that this chapter, is that Paul isn’t trying to give the Corinthians a theological answer (as much as we might try to read it that way); He’s giving them the practical principles to navigate their questions. He’s also challenging them to live as Christians and not conform to the Greco-Roman culture and practices.
As someone who is a new believer in our Lord, I think it is okay to marry a non-believer. If I were a non-believer and someone wouldn’t date or marry me because of my lack of faith, I think it almost goes against everything that the Bible tells us about evangelizing to others. “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to answer everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15).” I believe that it is our goal as Christians to introduce the Lord into people’s lives, especially the ones who don’t know about Him yet. Before coming to Grace, I didn’t know much about God but the good people at this university helped me to understand who He is and why He is important. I think the same goes for your significant other, being inviting towards them in everything you do, especially when it comes to one’s faith. Be respectful and understand that everyone comes from different backgrounds and places. Evangelizing in general is important for Christians to do, to spread the word of God to people who haven’t found Him yet or even those who know who He is, but don’t represent Him. “He said to them, ‘Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation’ (Mark 16:15).” This verse here is a great representation of our call as Christians to do throughout our lives. Be inviting to others and know that everyone comes from a different background than you.